Six Weeks Later...

Can it be?  Is it true?  Have six weeks really gone by since I last visited the halls of Fabulous Pastries in search of sugary wonders and butter laced dreams?  Yes…but I’m back!!! And what a strange trip it’s been. 

I guess I should begin with the obvious by saying I love my little girl.  Who knew a person could come into my life causing an instantaneous heart swell of love and affection?  I’ve always heard about it, I suppose, but never was able to comprehend what such an event would look or feel like.  To say we won the lottery with regard to the child we are adopting is the grossest understatement of the year, and the journey of the past month and a half has left me both elated and exhausted (not to mention hungry).

The definition of the person I formerly called “myself” has now taken on a new form, a new roll and that roll is dad.  Really it seems to be the only roll I’ve had since January 16th, 2011 and anything I do outside of being a parent seems foreign.  Taking care of a newborn is a 24/7 job without question, and Brian and I are lucky that we have been able to tag team so well with the feedings and diaper changes as well as getting to “sleep-in” here and there.  Though Siena is a great baby, calm and generally happy, watching out for her happiness is already an unending job that leaves room for little else.  Luckily, staring at her is the most fun thing I can remember doing in years.  She makes it easy to be a dad.   

I would me remiss if I didn’t say I’d been missing my baking.  Baking is love and therapy to me all rolled into one.  Because we were adopting across state lines, Brian, Siena and I had to stay in a hotel in Pennsylvania until the paper work cleared allowing us to leave the state.  In our case this only took ten days, but spending ten days in a foreign state and foreign hotel room when all you really want to do is be at your own home was a challenge all it’s own.  Though the hotel had a kitchenette, it certainly wasn’t equipped with a Kitchen Aid, my beloved muse and most precious appliance.  There wasn’t even a proper oven, just the stovetop for boiling water and heating things up. 

I was pretty freaked out during the time we were there and didn’t honestly think about baking a whole lot…but we did think about eating.  When something extreme happens in your life I think it’s common to turn to your favorite vice.  For me, that would have to be sweets.  We had an endless supply of treats on hand at the hotel room and were able to maintain our insulin levels quite nicely with processed foods until we were allowed to come home.

Once we got back to New York, things became very real.  Reentering our space with a newborn and all the things that seemingly come with her was a new challenge.  Where the heck do you put all this stuff?  From diapers to play-yards and everything in between it felt like our house was being held hostage suddenly and didn’t even seem like our space anymore…and it isn’t, it’s Siena’s now. 

Though I love spending time with my little girl, I’ve learned to value my time when she is asleep (and to take an occasional nap or two myself).  I always thought I made wise use of my days before, but now it’s like I’m in a constant video game trying to beat the clock.  Will I get dinner done before she wakes up?  How long will the nap be?  When will she get hungry again?  Is she bored? What do you do with a baby this size to keep her entertained?  Well, my first answer was of course Martha Stewart.  From the moment we got home we began watching Martha together.  I’m trying to make sure she knows how to bake, craft and take care of a home from an early age.  Siena also likes being read the magazine and occasionally gives snorts or coos of approval.

In my pre-dad life, I was able to read a magazine during a leisurely afternoon, but now it seems to take more like a month.   Martha has added a digital format of the magazine for the Ipad, which I have fallen completely in love with.  Not only are all the original print contents available, but also interactive images, videos and some very slick and well-designed features that make me so excited.  I feel like I’m reading magazine 2.0, and as someone in a visual media field I can’t wait to see how far the technology is going to expand.  If I can get through the March issue before May I think I’ll be doing good.  I’ll be returning to work tomorrow, so I imagine my reading time on the train will return once more…provided I’m not asleep the whole way.

Being at home for over a month has been a strange experience.  I had extreme nesting fever before Siena arrived and it didn’t change much once she got here.  Who knew I could watch so much HGTV?  Getting up at 7:00am most days leaves a long stretch of day to fill with a multitude of television watching as well as providing baby entertainment.  I had always heard newborns sleep all the time, but Siena isn’t really down with that during the day.  She is constantly up and alert, looking around, taking everything in and waiting to start her modeling career of course.  Home takes on a different meaning.  It is home base, the safe place to be, and after even the shortest jaunt outside it’s walls feels like an epic homecoming upon return.  An hour at Target with a newborn can seem like a lifetime, even if you only are picking up a few items. 

After a couple of weeks of being home I started to feel like myself again.  With returning home meant the beginning of guests and visitors excited to see the new little bundle of joy.  I may be tired, but I certainly can’t have people come over without providing a little bit of nosh.  My first return to the baking scene was an orange olive-oil cake from the Baked Explorations: Classic American Desserts Reinvented book I had been using prior to Siena’s arrival.  I had earmarked several recipes I was interested in and this was one of them.  I had put post-it notes on all things related to citrus because of their seasonal nature and now all I had to do was pick one and get back into my kitchen (sounds simple enough, right?).  I chose this cake because it sounded good, sounded refreshing and sounded fairly easy to make.  I didn’t want to get into anything too elaborate on my first foray back into the post-baby baking world.  

This recipe is essentially a take on coffee cake and I made it in my big bundt pan.  To my shock and horror there was no butter in this cake, but a very large amount of olive oil assuaged any fears that it might not be fattening and delicious.  The crust came out beautiful and golden while the interior is quite tender with a gentle crumb melting on your tongue.  Because the olive oil is the star of this cake, make sure you use one that you enjoy cooking with.  The mingling of the orange flavor with the oil gives such a light and fresh taste, almost what I imagine the flavor of spring to come in an olive grove in Tuscany might be.   The recipe is as follows:

Mom’s Olive Oil Orange Bundt  (Yield:  one 10-inch Bundt)

Cake Ingredients:

3 cups all-purpose flour

1-tablespoon baking powder

1/2-teaspoon salt

4 large eggs, separated

2 cups granulated sugar

1-cup plain yogurt

1/4-cup good-quality extra-virgin olive oil

Freshly grated zest of 2 oranges

1-teaspoon vanilla paste, or 1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Glaze Ingredients:  (whisk together until pourable)

2 cups confectioners’ sugar

1/4-cup fresh orange juice

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Generously spray the inside of a 10-inch Bundt pan with nonstick cooking spray; alternative, butter it well, dust it with flour, and knock out the excess flour.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.  Set aside.

In the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the egg yolks until they are pale and light; slowly pour in the sugar until it is completely incorporated.  Add the yogurt and olive oil and mix until thoroughly combined.  Add the orange zest and vanilla, and mix until just incorporated.

Add the flour mixture to the wet ingredients in two parts, beating after each addition until just combined (this will take about 10 seconds).  Scrape down the bowl and beat again for 5 seconds.

In another large bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form.  Scoop 1 cup of the egg whites into the batter.  Use a rubber spatula to gently fold them in.  After about 30 seconds of folding, add the remaining egg whites and gently fold until they are almost completely combined.  Do not rush the folding process.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 40 to 50 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through the baking time, or until a small sharp knife inserted into the cake comes out clean.  Transfer the pan to a wire rack to cool completely.  Gently loosen the sides of the cake from the pan (I sometimes use an offset spatula for this) and turn it out onto the rack.

Just before serving, top with the glaze.

As the snows of January and February kept on, all I could think about (other than formula and diapers) was spring.  Oh how I love spring and need it to put an end to all this white madness.  We have had more snow in New York this year than any on record and have honestly had a white landscape for the past two months.  Happily, I didn’t have to go outside a whole lot and when I did it was in a car instead of walking around New York City in a slosh-y mess.   My craving for fresh air and bright things combined with a loss of stability and the life I was accustomed to led me to bake a few old favorites. 

With guests coming every weekend and my time being so limited I wasn’t in a place to continually try new things.  I made a fantastic batch of Martha’s Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies, both easy and tasty.  These cookies are great because they balance sweet with a hint of salt so nicely, and you can freeze the portioned out dough so that when guests are on the way you can simply turn on the oven to 350 degrees and have the fresh aroma of baking cookies in your home by the time they cross the threshold. 

The second old favorite I made was Barefoot Contessa’s Brownie Pudding.  It’s like a giant pan of flourless chocolate cake, both crunchy on top and warm and fudgey in the middle.  And when you only have a few minutes to throw something together this is a perfect solution any houseguest would be happy to eat.  The depth of the chocolate and richness of this dessert makes people feel like you’ve given them a big hug.  When you are exhausted most of the time, a chocolate hug is the perfect pick me up whether after dinner or after that 3:00am feeding.  Paired with vanilla ice cream it’s even better.

The third old favorite (are you sensing a comforting theme yet) was another Barefoot Contessa staple, Lemon Bars.  I really could take a bath in the filling and spend all my days lost in the haze of lemon bliss.  There is something so incredibly addictive about these squares of golden fabulousness.  I think it has to do with balanced ingredients as in most of my favorite treats.  The sweet is equal to the tart and all the zest in this recipe gives these bars massive pucker power.  The color is also important.  A vibrant yellow on a crappy winter day can’t help but make you smile and is also smartly on point with the seasonality of citrus.  The crust is similar to a crisp and buttery shortbread, and is dough I could literally eat entirely raw.   Topped with a liquid curd of sunshine, guests will request to take these bars home with them I guarantee; a lemon bar you will want to make love to.

I made the lemon bars last weekend to go along with our latest friendly visit.  Several old friends of Brian’s (Rosie, Maria and Maria’s nine month old son Noah) came to stay for the weekend, and we had a great time.  To coincide with the visit, our friend Lisa wanted to have a small gathering known as a pantry party for people who had yet to meet Siena.  Apparently this is a southern tradition often coinciding with a bridal shower.  In essence, guests decorate brown paper bags, which are filled with pantry items for the bride to be, or in our case filled with goodies for both Siena and her dads.  Whoever has the best-decorated bag wins a prize and the new housewife has a stocked pantry with which to begin preparing meals for her hubby.  Combining this tradition with a new baby was fun because we were lucky enough to get lots of diapers, formula and baby wipes…my top three gift recommends for new parents.  I mean, who knew formula could cost so much?  What do they put in there?  Liquid gold?

In keeping with southern tradition, I wanted to make a dessert that was fitting for the party.  I had been threatening to make a red velvet cake for quite some time.  It appeals to that thing in me which likes creating foods that look like you shouldn’t eat them.  I know that a long-standing tradition of southern weddings is the red velvet armadillo cake with grey frosting, typically featured as the groom’s cake.  I certainly didn’t want to make an armadillo for my daughter’s gathering, and I often find it difficult to eat cake at a get-together in general.  People are always afraid to cut it.  I can understand why, especially if it is a beautiful piece of edible art, but I have found that hand held desserts are often the way to go for an informal gathering.  Thus, I made Red Velvet Whoopie Pies, another recipe I found in the Baked Explorations cookbook. 

I liked the idea of having something severely red on a silver tray.  In fact, I added a lot more red gel food coloring than the recipe called for and the cookie/cakes certainly retained their saturation.  Though the cookie portions of these “pies” were quite delicious, light and sponge-y, it’s the frosting that sells the package.  The cream cheese and butter mixture was worthy of hiding yourself away in the corner with a bowl and a spoon and telling everyone to “look away”.  I love cream cheese so much, probably on a criminal level, and placing it between two red disks (that happen to taste rather chocolaty) is something worth being guilty of eating.  According to the Baked guys, a true red velvet cake needs to contain cocoa powder, buttermilk, and shortening and it is the cocoa powder that originally gave the cake a reddish tint.  The food coloring didn’t come until later and now it’s something synonymous with this dessert.  I recommend getting a gel color from a cake decorating/baking store rather than the “weaker” red dies found in the baking isle at the grocery store…at least if you are going for the nice day-glow, blood red color I am so fond of.  I also painted on a light coating of pink luster dust to bring out the cracks and crevices in the cookies; an added sparkling sheen I thought Siena would approve of.  The recipe is as follows:

Red Velvet Whoopie Pies

Whoopie Pie Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons dark unsweetened cocoa powder (like Valrhona)

1/2-teaspoon baking powder

1/2-teaspoon baking soda

1/2-teaspoon salt

1/4-cup canola oil

1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons buttermilk

1/2-cup butter (1 stick), softened, cut into pieces

1-tablespoon vegetable shortening, at room temperature

3/4 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

1-teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1 tablespoon red gel food coloring

Filling Ingredients:

3 cups confectioners’ sugar

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened

8 ounces cream cheese, softened

1-teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/4-teaspoon salt

Make the pies:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt.

In a small bowl, whisk together the canola oil and buttermilk.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter and shortening until smooth.  Scrape down the bowl and add the sugars.  Beat until the mixture is light and fluffy, about 5 minutes.  Add the egg and vanilla extract and beat until combined.  Scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl, add the red gel food coloring, and then mix on low speed for a few more seconds to incorporate.  Do not overmix.

Turn the mixer to low.  Add the flour mixture, alternating with the buttermilk mixture, in three separate additions, beginning and ending with the flour mixture until just combined.  Scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl, and then mix on low speed for a few more seconds.

Cover with plastic wrap and chill the batter in the refrigerator for about 15 minutes.

Remove the batter from the refrigerator.  Use a small ice cream scoop with a release mechanism to drop heaping tablespoons of the dough onto the prepared baking sheets about 1 inch apart.  Bake for 10 to 20 minutes (mine took 15 minutes), until the cookies are just starting to crack on top and a toothpick inserted into the center of a cookie comes out clean.  Let the cookies cool completely on the pan while you make the filling.

Make the cream cheese filling:

Sift the confectioners’ sugar into a medium bowl and set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter until it is completely smooth.  Add the cream cheese and beat until combined.

Add the confectioners’ sugar, vanilla, and salt and beat until smooth.  Be careful not to overbeat the filling, or it will lose structure.  (The filling can be made 1 day ahead.  Cover the bowl tightly and put it in the refrigerator.  Let the filling soften at room temperature before using).

Assemble the whoopee pies:

Turn half of the cooled cookies upside down (flat side facing up).

Use an ice cream scoop or a tablespoon to drop a large dollop of filling onto the flat side of the cookie.  Place another cookie, flat side down, on top of the filling.  Press down slightly so that the filling spreads to the edges of the cookie.  Repeat until all the cookies are used.  Put whoopeie pies in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes to firm up before serving.

The whoopie pies will keep for up to 3 days on a parchment-lined baking sheet covered with plastic wrap, in the refrigerator.

What I found to be most beneficial about having so many guests to entertain was being compelled to keep up with my baking, and getting out and about like I always had before.  I had it in my head that I would be confined to my quarters and not allowed to leave until the child turned 18.  Obviously this isn’t the case and it’s healthy for all parties involved to get into the swing of life again.  Sure, it’s a different ballgame altogether and it takes twice as long to get anywhere as it did before and you suddenly feel like more of a pack mule than ever in your life, but darn it it’s good for the spirit.   Taking Maria and Rosie out for tourist rides reminded me of all the things I love about where we live and how I want to share these things with Siena.  We stalked the side roads of Bedford looking for Martha Stewart’s farm, took a drive by good old Sing Sing prison (which is in Ossining) and even made it out to my favorite wooden bridge in Sleepy Hollow Cemetery (the bridge Ichabod Crane was trying to reach to save himself from the Headless Horseman).

For us, we wanted to have a baby to understand and feel the love a child can bring.  We wanted to enlarge our family and see the world differently, through the observations of a child.  I honestly wanted to be able to play with toys and watch Sesame Street again without anyone judging me.  Already it is so much more than that.  Siena can’t do a whole lot quite yet, but in the past six weeks she’s been holding her head up, looking around and staring at me with wide, glorious brown eyes when I talk to her.  She has begun to smile, to coo and follow things with her eyes.  She loves to look at black and white graphic images and the ladybug mobile hanging above her bed.  I can’t wait for her to see real ladybugs.

Soon the flowers will start to bloom outside and the weather will warm up and I’ll get to introduce her to my other favorite passion, the garden.  Until then we’ll have to be content with playing indoors and looking at images of flowers, reading the March gardening issue of Martha Stewart Living and staring out the bright expanse of the old windows in our living room.  And though she hasn’t been able to help me bake quite yet, she can sit in her seat on the counter and watch daddy make a mess in the kitchen in the name of pastry, the sound of the Kitchen Aid’s soothing hum whisking her off to sleep cuddled in the butter laced air.  I want that for her and I want that for myself.  It’s just who I am.