Old Christmas

The one thing you may have discovered about me from past postings is I love a good tradition…understatement, maybe?  When Christmas rolls around it’s time to start thinking about Washington Irving once more.  He is certainly beloved for his tale of Rip Van Winkle and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, but he has a series of stories taken from his Sketchbook that perfectly recount a Christmas spent in the English countryside.

Irving’s description of a truly traditional Christmas is full of details ranging from the excitement of children riding home on a stagecoach to see their families through a very well described Christmas Eve/Day party at a mansion outside of Yorkshire complete with food, parties and the Yule log.  He also focuses on the loss of Christmas traditions and uses these five sequential stories to recall what he finds most important for preservation with regard to this spirited holiday.  Along with A Christmas Carol, Old Christmas has to be my favorite yearly re-read and one I think many people will enjoy…it captures the warmth and happiness of the season.  Besides, who doesn’t love a good English tale of parties, drinking and being merry?

Aside from the reading, there is plenty of baking to be done at this festive time.  Last weekend was full of cookies and pretty sanding sugars, but this week switches gears a bit.  As of the 23rd, the last of the work is done and it’s time to fully move into Christmas mode.  All the shopping needs to be finished, presents wrapped and a dinner planned for Brian’s homecoming.  He has been in Florida for the past week dealing with family/personal issues, but will be coming home on the evening of Christmas day…it’s almost like the song describes.

I spent the afternoon of the 23rd doing some last minute shopping for gifts…aka helping Santa out a bit in case he forgot any important items.  On the 24th, Christmas Eve, (the most important day of the year as far as I’m concerned) I ran a few food related errands in some of the surrounding villages near our home.  The sun was shining and snow covered all of the landscape.  Decorations abound as each town has it’s own set of lights, bows and evergreen draped lampposts; all the shops are open with wares nearly busting out of the doors trying to get into shoppers hands for the Christmas feast.  I purchased some wine for the soup I was making, took a little tour of a used book store full of people buying last minute gifts and made it to the natural foods market for dried fruits, chocolate and cheese.  We like to make a yummy stuffing full of fruit combined with pecans, cornbread and chorizo…a spicy and sweet little number that has become a favorite of ours over the years. Cornbread Chorizo Stuffing  (a tablespoon of minced fresh rosemary makes for a fragrant addition to the cornbread.)

The evening of Christmas Eve I try to clear my schedule as much as possible for relaxation.  After getting the cornbread made for the stuffing and preparing the brioche dough for the following day, I settle myself in to watch some holiday related television.  My all-time favorite has to be the 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS.  I started watching this quite a few years back with my brother, Nathan, one Christmas Eve when I was home.  I remember him enjoying it thoroughly and I really got into it.  Now it’s a “must do” in our household.  In honor of this tradition, I went down the road a bit to Briarcliff (the next town over) and got a delicious Chinese take-out meal of general chicken.  This may not sound very holiday-esque, but anyone who has seen A Christmas Story will be able to appreciate this.  Driving to get my food, I could see down several side streets in town fully decked out in holiday finery.  Lights were glowing on many houses and one little enclave had all the streets and driveways lined with luminaries as far as the eye could see.  It was bright and magical and made me think of being a kid, driving around with my dad to look at Christmas lights with carols playing on the radio.  Christmas Eve is unquestionably one of the most important days of the year for me.  The joy in the air is nearly palpable.  Here is a view of the houses on our street. (we are the one on the far right)

On Christmas day, the cooking and baking went into full swing.  I started by making Mrs. Henson’s Steamed Christmas pudding.  You may remember this recipe I gave in an earlier posting when I was learning how to do a steamed pudding.  I must say that practice makes perfect in this case because it came out splendidly.  The key was not only making sure the mold was thoroughly buttered, floured and sprayed with oil, but also I steamed it for nearly 3 hours instead of the 2 hours I had done previous.  The consistency was beautiful and it popped right out of the mold without any difficulty.  Mrs. Cratchitt would have been so proud…

I made the stuffing, soup and formed my brioche dough into rolls and a loaf, letting them proof for about and hour before baking.  They came out really quite spectacular.  My fears of yeast have now been eased and I am feeling more at home with the wonderful smelling (if not a tad bit temperamental) dough. 

Brian flew into JFK airport late in the afternoon and we came home to have a proper “sit-down” dinner as opposed to our usual eating in front of the television.  Afterwards we opened presents in front of the tree while playing a DVR recording of the burning Yule log.  It was so nice to have him home and be able to share this time together in spite of all that has been going on.  I think it may have been more important than ever to try and have a little Christmas cheer and some distraction from everyday life.

On the 26th, Boxing Day, Randall Sharp had us over for a wonderful dinner of duck.  The birds were stupendous and covered in a yummy glaze and compote.  I was largely responsible for the desserts at this affair, and at her request, I made Mexican Wedding cookies.  Aside from sugar cookies, these apparently are Randy’s favorite.  I had never made them before, but found them to be quite easy and fun.  Turning once more to Martha Stewart’s Baking Handbook, I quickly made up a batch to take to dinner.  I looked on Martha’s website for this exact recipe but was unable to find it.  I will reprint it for you here in case you take a notion to make these airy, nutty cookies:

1 Cup pecan halves

2 Cups confectioner’s sugar

2 Cups all-purpose flour

1/4-teaspoon salt

2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature

1-teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1-teaspoon pure almond extract

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees

Combine nuts and 1/4 cup of the confectioner’s sugar in a food processor.  Finely grind.  Combine this mixture with the flour and salt; set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer (with paddle attachment) beat together butter and 3/4 cup of confectioner’s sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes.  Make sure to scrape down the bowl periodically; then add in both extracts and finally the flour nut mixture (on low so you don’t get flour everywhere).  Mix until the dough just comes together.  You know how I feel about over-mixing.

Roll the dough into 3/4-inch balls and place on parchment lined baking sheets…you can get about 15 cookies per sheet, and bake for 10 to 12 minutes.  The tops will still be pale, but the underside will be golden.  After they cool, roll them in the remaining cup of confectioner’s sugar.  It’s that easy!

I also made some chocolate truffles to take to the party…another very easy item to make.  The recipe I chose makes an Earl Grey tea infused truffle, which was good, but I found the tea flavor to be a little strong.  I recommend halving the amount of tea called for in this recipe.

It was a busy few days in the kitchen to say the least, but it only comes around once a year and I love it so.  This year felt much more like a holiday about giving time and love as opposed to one full of marketing and purchasing.  I know I was able to appreciate the gifts I was given in a very different way this year…maybe this was because there have been so many trying and difficult situations happening around me or maybe because I’ve grown a little older and can see value in places I formerly could not.  The road you take to get to this place of appreciation really doesn’t matter in the end; just the fact that you are able to get there at all is what’s important.  For me, I know this was one of the best Christmases I have ever had because of the wonderful friends and family I have in my life.  For that, I am thankful.  It’s just who I am.

Winter Wonderland

It was one of those amazing winter weekends, the kind that can only be found right around Christmas…really the only time of year when a foot of snow falling to the ground seems like a nice idea.  The ground outside is covered in a sparkly white sheen, wet and compacted, the perfect type of snow for making a snowman or getting into a snowball fight with the school bully. 

This was the big cookie production weekend for me.  It was time to get out all of the cutters, the colored sanding sugars and make enough cookies to feed a small army.   I love to give them as presents along with a handmade ornament.  It’s a gift almost anyone will love, and is even that much better because it comes from your heart and hands.

My big dilemma was which cookies to make this year? I narrowed my choices down from five cookies to three, and ended up choosing some long-standing favorites.  After making a trip to the grocery store to procure the necessary nine sticks of butter I would need to cover all of the recipes, I began by making the dough for the Sugar Cookies (this links to a recipe similar to the one I used, but mine has more butter)... it's a much loved recipe I make just about every year.  The dough is very simple, with few ingredients…mainly butter and sugar.  The proper recipe comes from Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook, which I find to be invaluable.  As with most doughs, the key is not to over mix.  After cutting and forming the dough into two disks, you can refrigerate them until you are ready to bake.  In my case I like to make it a day ahead so the gluten in the flour has adequate time to relax, but make sure you take the dough out of the refrigerator a good 30-45 minutes before you want to roll it out or it will crack under the weight of the rolling pin.

The second dough I made was for the Gingerbread Cookies (again, a similar recipe, but mine has a tablespoon of grated ginger creamed into the butter and sugar).  This recipe also comes from the Baking Handbook, but I had never tried it before.  I have made gingerbread cookies before, but this recipe was different because it calls for freshly grated ginger along with the traditional dry ginger, cloves, allspice and molasses.  I must say that the fresh ginger really brought this cookie to life and gave it a bright and fresh taste.  This dough you should also make at least a day in advance.

I’m sure the FDA doesn’t recommend this (or whomever figures out the eating pyramid chart we all grew up with), but I decided to have both of the aforementioned doughs for my Saturday brunch.  I mean, there WERE eggs involved and ginger IS a root, so I figured there was no harm.  Raw cookie dough is something I just can’t resist.  The sugar cookie dough in particular is probably my favorite dough in the world to eat by the spoonful…and I did…please stop judging me.

The third cookie is a Rosemary Butter Cookie that came from a Martha magazine long ago, but now exists online forever and ever.  This is possibly one of the most different and interesting treats in my repertoire.  Not only is it a sweet buttery cookie, but also has a clean Christmas-y taste derived from the freshly chopped rosemary.  There is also sea salt in this cookie and it gives an amazingly sweet/salty balance that I love.  This cookie is pretty simple too, but does have a few steps.  First, you roll the dough into a couple of 12 inch logs (1 and a half inch diameter), wrap them in parchment paper and freeze for about an hour.  Next, take the logs out, unwrap them and brush them with egg white.  Third, you roll the logs in sanding sugar and then cut into quarter inch slices.  They bake up yummy and golden, and the house smells of fragrant herbs mingled with sugar…it’s better than any candle I have found.

I did all of this on Saturday before going to Randall Sharp’s annual Christmas party.  It is THE party to go to of the calendar year.   The guests spread out over several floors of her lovely home, with a bar set-up downstairs near the most beautiful, and tall Christmas tree I ever have the pleasure of seeing indoors.  It must be 12-15 feet tall at least, and is tastefully decorated with glass and copper ornaments.  On the second floor is an abundantly appointed dining table full of vegetarian and meat-a-tarian dishes alike.  All sorts of chesses, breads, hot and cold entrees and did I mention cheeses, cheeses and more lovely cheeses?  The third floor has a beautiful white tree with colorful lights.  (Pictured:  our friends David and Vivian)  The room is a library, ensconcing the guests in books; music and much appreciated low lighting.  I love to sit on the couch in that room and hang out with friends.  I think the guest list pushed one hundred this year, and it seemed as if everyone had turned out for the special occasion.

While all of the warming festivities were going on, the great Blizzard of ’09 began…or at least according to the news we should call it that.  I must say, it did dump A LOT of snow in a very brief amount of time.  We got nearly a foot at our house, and I know they reached almost 2 feet out in Long Island.  Brian and I painstakingly drove home from the party in the windy whiteout.  It was very slow going, but with some Christmas music playing in the background and a few white-knuckle moments we made it home in one piece to find our house and neighborhood bedded down for the evening in layers of white.

Sunday morning I woke up early and began the major portion of my cookie production.  I pulled the sugar and gingerbread doughs from the refrigerator to thaw a bit 
and went out to shovel some snow and take a few photographs before all the pristine purity of the landscape was ruined.  By the time I was done, the doughs were ready and I was warmed up and raring to go.  I rolled out the disks  to about a quarter of an inch thick, floured my cookie cutters and began my task.  The trick is to cut one tray’s worth, usually a dozen or so, decorate them with sanding sugar or dragees and then get them into the freezer for a good 15 minutes of so.  Re-chilling the cookies will help hold their shape and keep you from ending up with blobby, misshapen masses.  While one tray is in the oven, you can be cutting and decorating the next batch.  By the time I was done there was sanding sugar strung throughout the house, flour all over my clothes and royal icing in places Royal Icing just shouldn’t be…on my elbow people, let’s keep this “G” rated.

All in all I was really happy with the outcome.  I fixed up a mixed plateful to take where I am currently working as well as wrapped up several packages for some friends/neighbors and former co-workers.  The best thing about making cookies is the part where you give them away.  I don’t care who you are, unless you are Ebenezer Scrooge himself (pre spirit visits, mind you), a cookie will put a smile on your face, and especially cookies that are all covered in sparkly sugar. 

I hope the cookies all find a happy home inside of my friend’s bellies.  It’s my intent to create a sweet taste of the holidays to transport them to childhood once more, or at least the version of childhood that has been hanging out in my head all these years.  When I was growing up I remember my family liked to get together and make all sorts of delicious treats:  white chocolate covered pretzels, peanut butter bon-bons, toffee crunch, butter cookies (with sprinkles!!!) and a most delicious fudge my mother used to make. 

Cookies are my way back to this festive memory and a nod to my favorite holiday.  It’s just who I am.

Making Connections

The Christmas spirit has kicked into full swing this week in more ways than I can possibly count.  Not only is it the first week of December, but it seems as if Santa has already arrived with the week I’ve been having. 

It was a week of rallying new friends, and of longtime pals working together to help me forage ahead in my new career…no, I’m not opening a bakery (yet) for the twentieth time, but I am returning to the freelance world for my “regular” job.  The challenges will be good for me, and potentially leaves me with more time periodically for creating baked goods. 

You don’t really realize how many friends you have until you have jumped out of your comfort zone and see who comes along for the ride (or to your aid).  Some of my longtime pals I will no longer see from day to day, but will still be in my heart…and I will just have to leave fresh baked goods on their doorsteps from time to time.  It was, all in all, an interesting week for me full of connections, both of the friendly kind and of the holiday baking and crating kind. 

Yesterday brought us the first snowfall of the season!  I looked out the kitchen window into the grey afternoon to see large flakes landing on the butterfly bushes in the back yard.  I wasn’t certain it would stick because it has been warm for so long, but after awhile the ground began to fill up white and the picnic table was covered in a healthy dusting.  It was as if Christmas had finally found it’s way to New York, and I could finally let loose a sigh of relief. 

I have been waiting for the holiday feeling to truly come over me this year.  Last weekend I did decorate the outside of the house, but it was still nearly 60 degrees, so it didn’t quite do the trick.  Friday night, the annual Christmas play opened at Axis Theatre (where Brian produces and acts) called Seven In One Blow.

Somehow, seeing this play every year is the true beginning of the holidays for me.  It’s a children’s play, but so wonderful for adults too.  The message of the show is really about celebrating the differences in people and loving them for who they are, and that each one of us is brave in our own way.  Brian plays the Scarlet Pimpernel every year, and is so much fun to watch.  Other characters make fun of him throughout the show, but come to understand in the end that he is a person too, with feelings that can be hurt by angry words and mean actions…a good lesson for kids and adults alike. 

I decided yesterday to make a gingerbread cake to take to the actors at Axis.  I’ll probably do gingerbread cookies closer to Christmas day, but in the November Saveur magazine, I had found a recipe for English Gingerbread Cake that sounded delicious.  The cake was light and airy because it has a mixture of cake flour and whole wheat flour along with some cinnamon, ginger and a liquid base similar to caramel made with dark corn syrup, sugar, orange marmalade and brown sugar.  It rose beautifully and made lovely, cut square bites to share with everyone.  All of the actors were very complimentary and it made me happy.

I also thought that with the snow's arrival I should start thinking about making some Christmas ornaments.  Last year I discovered in the December Martha Stewart Living an ornament crafting project.  Normally I wouldn’t consider myself the “crafty” type.  I like beautifully made things, and many crafts I see aren’t quite my style, but these ornaments relied on the use of German springerle (cookie) molds.  Ornament How-to  I found a place online that makes them, and ordered two for myself last year.  Not only was I able to make ornaments, but I was also able to use the molds for their true purpose…making cookies.  The cookies are more like a spicy biscuit, which go great with tea or coffee, and I will definitely be making them again this year.  Speculaas Cookies  

The ornaments are quite easy to make, but somewhat time consuming because you have color paperclay with acrylic paint, flour the molds and cast each ornament one by one.  It takes a bit to get into the rhythm of the project, but once you do it only takes a few hours to make them.  The ornaments have to dry for a few days, and then you can paint on them as you wish.   They are a great gift when completed, and I will be giving some out again this year. 

The mold I purchased this year is of a Christmas tree.  Last year’s molds were of an “old-time” Santa and a Victorian snow scene with a sleigh.  There is something extremely charming about these pieces to me, and I hope other people enjoy them as much as I do.  They are a wonderful pairing with holiday cookies in a gift basket for friends, and if you start now you will have plenty of time to make them.  The molds come from House on the Hill, but you can also buy them at Sur La Table (but they are EXTREMELY marked up in price).

I lit my evergreen scented candle, put on “A Diva’s Christmas Carol” and whiled away the day with crafts, baked goods and holiday music in the background, and it was the most fine day I have had in such a long, long time.  It can often take so little to recharge one’s batteries…I was busy, but what I was doing felt so good to me, so right.  How often do you get to spend the day making things for friends and family in the comfort of your home, with the snow falling outside and no interruptions from the “real world”?  It doesn’t’ happen often enough for me. 

Our lives (Brian and I) have been overtly hectic these past few weeks, and I don’t expect that to change anytime soon.  What I can do to maintain sanity is to continue moving forward in life the best I can.  Sometimes that means listening to a friend talk things out over the phone, sometimes that means baking a cake.  I don’t have a preference really, I just want to make the most of the time I have with my friends and loved ones.  Baking/making things is a way I can be closer to them, have them in my thoughts and maybe spread a little cheer along the way.  It’s just who I am.

Forward Motion

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are ready to hop right into Christmas!  I know I am.  As soon as midnight strikes on the day after T-day, now known as the evil Black Friday, I’m ready to smell evergreen and gaze at twinkling lights (not in a mid 90’s acid-y sort of way).  It’s my favorite holiday of the year and it makes me feel like an excited little kid again.  

Though my enjoyment level revolving around Christmas is high, I do have a few rules pertaining to this sacred holiday.  Mainly, I don’t want to hear Christmas music or see any decorations before Thanksgiving, or Halloween for that matter…yes Home Depot I am talking to you.  I like the focused, concentrated, joyful Christmas feeling that begins as soon as the pumpkin or pecan pie is finished and stops with the Champaign hangover from New Years.

Now that that’s off my chest and I can move forward, we come to the task at hand.  This week, my challenge (among many) was to make a steamed pudding.  I had never attempted this, and had been intrigued/nervous about it for some time.  Last year, around the holidays, I discovered a recipe in our family archives for a Steamed Christmas Pudding.  When I hear the name “steamed pudding” I automatically think of A Christmas Carol or any number of holiday songs that sing it’s praises, but I never had tasted or been in the same room with one before.

As I read through the recipe, my jaw sort of fell to the floor because it says “place (pudding) mold on a rock in a covered kettle”.  Having never seen a recipe requiring rocks or kettles, I immediately called my mother to investigate. The recipe comes from one of my uncle’s mother, Mrs. Henson.  Now, with that being said, I’m not really sure how far back this recipe goes.  It could be hers, or possibly her mothers…I would need to ask my Aunt Helen for clarification, but regardless, I’m guessing this recipe is fairly old.  I imagined only being able to achieve such a baking feat if I had a large hearth in my home to create a fire worthy of a kettle, or maybe trying it out back in the fire pit.  You may laugh, but I do have a wild imagination.  Here is a copy of the recipe should you be interested in trying it out for yourself:

Steamed Christmas Pudding (Mrs. Henson)

1/2 C. soft butter

1 1/2 C. brown sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. Vanilla

1 C. peeled, grated carrots

1 C. peeled, grated apples

1/2 C. raisins

1 C. coarsely chopped pecans

1 C. sifted flour

1 tsp. Baking soda

1/2 tsp. Salt

1 C. fine dry white bread crumbs

“Combine butter and sugar; beat in eggs and vanilla.

Stir in carrots, fruits and nuts.

Sift flour, baking soda and salt.  Stir this into creamed mixture.

Add breadcrumbs and mix well. 

Spoon into well oiled 1 1/2 qts. mold.

Cover mold securely with foil or wax paper tied with a string.  Place mold on a rock in covered kettle of boiling water, with water half way up on the mold.  Steam for 3 hours.  Unmold on serving plate.”

Being someone so happily smothered in ideas of tradition, I became excited to try (with a modern approach) the recipe…but I won’t make it until closer to Christmas day.  In A Christmas Carol the kids are always so excited about Mrs. Cratchit’s steamed pudding on Christmas morning, and I think I would like to have a similar experience provided I can get my cats to dress in Victorian, tattered clothing and make exclamations other than “meow”.  Instead, I found a recipe in the November Bon Appetit for a Steamed Persimmon Pudding to use as a “trial run” recipe.  I figured if I could make this recipe, calling for somewhat more modern techniques, then I could eventually adapt the process to the Christmas pudding.  http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2009/11/steamed_persimmon_pudding_with_cinnamon_creme_anglaise

What intrigues me so much about this is the fact that it’s steamed in a giant pot of boiling water on the stovetop as opposed to baking it in the oven.  Also, I had never used a persimmon in any dish in my life.  I wasn’t sure what they tasted like, or sure what people usually do with them, so again I called my mother to quiz her.  She said as a kid she remembered having a persimmon tree in their field, and that people sliced them open and looked at the shape of the seed to predict the severity of the upcoming winter.  Of course I had to look into this seemingly Ozarkian bit of history and found many references to it online.  Apparently the seed is supposed to look like a fork, knife, or spoon…the spoon denoting the need for a shovel because of the intense winter coming.  I didn’t find any particular utensil inside of my persimmons, but maybe you need to let them dry a bit or something.  All the pictures I saw with clearly defined silverware seeds were on brown looking persimmons and mine were still a ripe and luscious orange.  http://www.farmersalmanac.com/weather/a/persimmon-seeds-widen-the-lead-cold-winter-predicted-to-win

They are a funny fruit, and have a bit of a gummy, chalky taste if eaten raw.  It sort of reminded me of a papaya I suppose, but with a bit more grain.  Mom thought you could switch out persimmons with apricots or plums if you can’t find any at your local store, but they are in season right now and I found them at my regular old Stop and Shop. 

Making the batter was as easy as mixing up any other sort of cake-like recipe, but the trick to this is buttering your mold.  You really need to coat it heavily with butter, then flour, and then add a good amount of vegetable spray just to be safe.  The mold has lots of detail, and the pudding doesn’t like to come out easily.  My attempt was pretty successful, but still stuck a bit even after all of that.  I also think I could have cooked it a bit longer.  This recipe says 2 hours, but my aunt’s recipe said 3. 

I left the pudding in the pot of water for just over 2 hours, steaming away happily, and I did have to add some additional boiling water at one point to keep the level high enough.  The water should remain about halfway up the side of the mold (inside the pot) for best results.  If you get much more than that, the mold begins to float and tips over a bit, which is a nuisance…yes, I did that.  You can also use a regular old vegetable steamer in the bottom of your pot if you don’t have the round rack the recipe calls for (or a rock I suppose).  The pot I used was an 8-quart stockpot with a tight fitting lid.

I really recommend trying this.  It’s a bit intimidating, but really is pretty straight forward.  The taste was spicy (ginger, nutmeg, and cinnamon), with a bit of brightness coming from the cooked persimmon.  It cuts like a cake, but is very, very moist…this must be why it’s technically a pudding, and maybe also because it’s steamed.  The cinnamon cream sauce that accompanies it is also quite tasty.

Now that I’m getting geared up for the holiday bake-a-thon, I thought it best to get the house ready too.  The neighbors were all out putting lights and greenery on their homes today.  It was a beautiful, sunny day in the upper 50’s, and it seemed like the right thing to do.  We all decided we should have baked cookies and made eggnog if we knew everyone was going to be out.  I like living on a street like this.  It’s a place where everyone gets into the holiday spirit and enjoys making a magical place for people to come home to during the month of December.  It has the throwback air of an earlier time without as many worries and cares, a time when Ralphie Parker might still get his BB gun for Christmas. 

This evening I will happily eat my persimmon pudding and think of holly and cookie laced days to come.  I will not be afraid of the Christmas pudding recipe any longer, and maybe it’s a tradition I’ll want to add into my ever-evolving catalogue.  It’s just who I am.

Pre-Thanksgiving Jitters

To say that the last week has been “crazy” would be a sore use of the word, an gross understatement to the fullest extent I can imagine.  With the usual hubbub of pre-Thanksgiving underway, shopping to do, menus to figure out, sorting out dishes and glassware I was unprepared for the reality life chose to express.  My good friend Kathryn always says, “Life happens while you are planning it” and she couldn’t have been more right.

The past 10 days, really since my last blog posting, have been a ride of ups and downs much more extreme than any roller coaster, and a lot longer too.  Things went from holiday planning to triage in such a short amount of time…medical emergencies, fantastic projects seemingly won and lost at work, Brian having to rush off to Florida to be with and take care of his family…insanity.   Wasn’t I just deciding what version of turkey to make for Thanksgiving dinner, wasn’t the plan to stagger out the days before the holiday with piecrusts and cranberry sauce and large sugar cookies to be used as place cards?  The answer is yes, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter.

I know I often prattle on about memory making, beautiful parties and entertaining friends, but those are things for when times are steady and flowing along nicely, a break from the norm if you will.  Sometimes life just grabs you and takes you on a different journey as if to say, “wake up, and stop day-dreaming”, there is something more to be learned, discovered and felt.   I like to bake as an expression of love, but sometimes you have to step out of the kitchen (for a bit), put on your game-face, slip into some wading boots and dive in, show up for people, and try to make the best of dark situations.  It isn’t important to go into the specifics of the week, but what is important is responding the best you can to life’s challenges. 



This week has been one of difficulty, but also one of strength.  Friends offering to help out in any way, family members calling to check on things and just a general spirit of good will that one hopes to find in times of duress.  I feel a bit like a character out of A Christmas Carol declaring that we should carry Christmas in our hearts everyday, but maybe we do and it’s not until the challenging times snap us out of our reverie do we really see it.

Now, I must admit after all of that I’m still a person who doesn’t quite know what to do with nervous energy.  With Brian being down in Florida and me just waiting for updates I turned into Joan Crawford, cleaning the house and ousting the wire hangers from room to room.  I trimmed the garden perennials in the backyard to within an inch of their lives, and I baked a Pear Cranberry cake which I took to our friends Izabella and Jonathan’s as they propped me up over a beautiful meal of duck breast and roasted potatoes.  http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Pear-Cranberry-Cake-356040  The meal was fantastic and much appreciated.  As I waited for the cake to come out of the oven late on Friday night I just sat on the couch with Stanley (one of our cats) gently dozing, smelling fruit, cinnamon and all-spice, listening to jazz and being appreciative for a moment of relative peace.  Sometimes that’s all it takes to come back to yourself.  Some people have Calgon, I have cake.

On Sunday, the day I was possessed by Joan, I decided to make Clementine Bread from the November issue of Martha Stewart Living.  http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/clementine-vanilla-bean-quick-bread  I love clementines.  They look so pretty in a bowl, but make intensely flavored and lovely bread.  You combine the juice and sugar in a saucepan, cooking it down to make a beautiful glaze/soaking liquid for the bread.  Happily, it went over quite well at work.

The bottom line is you can’t always fix things when they go wrong, sometimes it’s a waiting game, and you have to do something with your time.  For me, baking helps me retain some of the normalcy of everyday life that I tend to complain about when things are going just fine.  These two recipes would be great to have on your Thanksgiving buffet, but for me now mean something very different.  They are a reminder of hard-won victory of our bodies and the spirit of love and friendship.  

Our Thanksgiving plans have now changed and I’m going to Florida to be with Brian and his family, our family, to share in a celebration of life, and the thankfulness that a situation fraught with danger is potentially simmering down to something that can be managed over time.  Who knows, maybe I’ll bronze myself in the sunshine to match the turkey on the table?  I can think of worse things.

Whatever your Thanksgiving plans, just remember to be thankful for the people you are with.  Who knows how long they might be around?  If memories are all we have when we go, I think it’s best to make as many good ones as possible.  It’s just who I am.