Pre-Thanksgiving Jitters

To say that the last week has been “crazy” would be a sore use of the word, an gross understatement to the fullest extent I can imagine.  With the usual hubbub of pre-Thanksgiving underway, shopping to do, menus to figure out, sorting out dishes and glassware I was unprepared for the reality life chose to express.  My good friend Kathryn always says, “Life happens while you are planning it” and she couldn’t have been more right.

The past 10 days, really since my last blog posting, have been a ride of ups and downs much more extreme than any roller coaster, and a lot longer too.  Things went from holiday planning to triage in such a short amount of time…medical emergencies, fantastic projects seemingly won and lost at work, Brian having to rush off to Florida to be with and take care of his family…insanity.   Wasn’t I just deciding what version of turkey to make for Thanksgiving dinner, wasn’t the plan to stagger out the days before the holiday with piecrusts and cranberry sauce and large sugar cookies to be used as place cards?  The answer is yes, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter.

I know I often prattle on about memory making, beautiful parties and entertaining friends, but those are things for when times are steady and flowing along nicely, a break from the norm if you will.  Sometimes life just grabs you and takes you on a different journey as if to say, “wake up, and stop day-dreaming”, there is something more to be learned, discovered and felt.   I like to bake as an expression of love, but sometimes you have to step out of the kitchen (for a bit), put on your game-face, slip into some wading boots and dive in, show up for people, and try to make the best of dark situations.  It isn’t important to go into the specifics of the week, but what is important is responding the best you can to life’s challenges. 



This week has been one of difficulty, but also one of strength.  Friends offering to help out in any way, family members calling to check on things and just a general spirit of good will that one hopes to find in times of duress.  I feel a bit like a character out of A Christmas Carol declaring that we should carry Christmas in our hearts everyday, but maybe we do and it’s not until the challenging times snap us out of our reverie do we really see it.

Now, I must admit after all of that I’m still a person who doesn’t quite know what to do with nervous energy.  With Brian being down in Florida and me just waiting for updates I turned into Joan Crawford, cleaning the house and ousting the wire hangers from room to room.  I trimmed the garden perennials in the backyard to within an inch of their lives, and I baked a Pear Cranberry cake which I took to our friends Izabella and Jonathan’s as they propped me up over a beautiful meal of duck breast and roasted potatoes.  http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Pear-Cranberry-Cake-356040  The meal was fantastic and much appreciated.  As I waited for the cake to come out of the oven late on Friday night I just sat on the couch with Stanley (one of our cats) gently dozing, smelling fruit, cinnamon and all-spice, listening to jazz and being appreciative for a moment of relative peace.  Sometimes that’s all it takes to come back to yourself.  Some people have Calgon, I have cake.

On Sunday, the day I was possessed by Joan, I decided to make Clementine Bread from the November issue of Martha Stewart Living.  http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/clementine-vanilla-bean-quick-bread  I love clementines.  They look so pretty in a bowl, but make intensely flavored and lovely bread.  You combine the juice and sugar in a saucepan, cooking it down to make a beautiful glaze/soaking liquid for the bread.  Happily, it went over quite well at work.

The bottom line is you can’t always fix things when they go wrong, sometimes it’s a waiting game, and you have to do something with your time.  For me, baking helps me retain some of the normalcy of everyday life that I tend to complain about when things are going just fine.  These two recipes would be great to have on your Thanksgiving buffet, but for me now mean something very different.  They are a reminder of hard-won victory of our bodies and the spirit of love and friendship.  

Our Thanksgiving plans have now changed and I’m going to Florida to be with Brian and his family, our family, to share in a celebration of life, and the thankfulness that a situation fraught with danger is potentially simmering down to something that can be managed over time.  Who knows, maybe I’ll bronze myself in the sunshine to match the turkey on the table?  I can think of worse things.

Whatever your Thanksgiving plans, just remember to be thankful for the people you are with.  Who knows how long they might be around?  If memories are all we have when we go, I think it’s best to make as many good ones as possible.  It’s just who I am.